Yes. Yes I think comfort IS the enemy of pioneering Christianity. Whilst reading my bible on the way into work this morning, it hit me….somewhat between the eyes….how flippin COMFORTABLE and DULL my life has become. How very tidy and clean it is. TOO tidy and clean!!! My life is a daily contest to maintain energy levels, retain control and avoid exhaustion. I mean, at ALL COSTS I must not get stretched, worn out or overworked. I must avoid getting my hands dirty or catching a cold, or being sociable as this will just wear me out too much and how will I ever recover? And for what am I SOOOO desperate to maintain this level of sustained energy? Fear! That’s right, fear! Fear of loosing a job I am bored in, underpaid to do and totally frustrated by!! Fear of working myself into exhaustion and never climbing back out of it. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of failure. I have been striving to maintain a level of existence which is, for want of a better word, CRAP!! The thought of wearing myself too thin overwhelms me…I mean, seriously…what does ‘wearing yourself thin’ even actually mean? That is NOT a God promise over my life. So why am I worrying it will happen?
What is this human earthly desire to be comfortable anyway? Who really wants to be living a mundane and downright boring life where they have everything within their reach and challenge is non-existent? I know I don’t! God has done TOO MUCH in me for me to be satisfied with that! I made a decision when I committed my life to Christ that I wouldn’t be content living an average life anymore, and would live to make an impact in my world. So far, i’ve managed a slight dent….of microscopic proportions!!! That is NOT enough! Over the last year or so I have said No to LIVING without even REALISING it! I have battled through frustration over and over again, feeling useless and inadequate, and yet all the time there has been opportunity after opportunity to do something to bring glory to God each and every day, and I have either avoided it or totally missed it. I have actually become a ‘Tidy Christian’!!! And THAT is the LAST person I EVER wanted to be! Tidy Christian’s like to keep their live’s clean, tidy and efficient!
It’s confession time….I’m going there….yep, I, Me, the person who lived rough in a tent for a good 3 months actually AVOIDS the homeless! Not all of them, but too many of them. Where is the heart of God in that? Where Deb? You self-righteous Tidy Christian you!!! I used to be fearless when approaching people who needed help. I used to be drawn to the weak and helpless and bursting with excitement at telling them the Gospel. But now, I am too keen to get home, get comfy and watch a bloody episode of Lewis! Seriously!!! I am soooo mad at myself right now I could screammmm!!
What has happened? Life? Work? Responsibility? No….fear! FEAR has taken over!!! Fear combined with frustration and a lie from the Enemy that I am worthless and never gonna fulfil the calling over my life has snuck up on me like old age creeps up on us all! I guess, in the flesh, it’s natural for someone who has had 5 breakdowns to fear over-exhaustion but I don’t have a cabbage patch doll living inside me…I have the HOLY SPIRIT LIVING & ACTIVE!! So STOP IT!!! If my life were made of paper right now I would want it ripped up, torn up, set fire to and blasted out to sea! Enough Deborah. Enough avoidance. Enough judgement. Enough complacency. Enough comfort. Enough pity. ENOUGH FEAR! I don’t want to live my life in fear anymore. Or live full of frustration. You are more than that Deb. You are bigger than that Deb. You have MORE to give than that. So stop living in a cocoon. Stop being a hermit. Stop avoiding the lost. Stop avoiding the broken (AND the smelly) and START getting your hands dirty. Stop being safe. Stop being comfortable and do what you were born to do. Take a step each and every day to help someone in your world or on the street, and watch the cobwebs of fear be wiped away from your mind and be replaced with a quiet GOD Confidence which walks hand in hand with LIFE Satisfaction!
SPREAD the Gospel, HELP the needy, LOVE the unlovable and CHANGE your world!